Your Corona Chronicle

Thursday, December 24, 2020

Keeping common sense highly contagious

A Corona Carol

No matter what holiday you cherish most at this time of year, you’re about to be visited by three spirits with a little something to say. So for all you Scrooges out there, we humbly ask that you open your pandemic-hardened heart to this awful novella disguised as a newsletter.

The Ghost of COVID Past

(A Mello Yello drag car appears through a cloud of smoke. Many yard signs spill out as a woman who reeks of hand sanitizer exits the vehicle and carefully measures 6 feet away from you)
“Hi. I’m the ghost of campus COVID past. Travel back with me… there you are, arriving on campus with a mask and a dream. But picnic tables, tents, grab and go food, quarantine — it wasn’t what you wanted. However you handled it in ways many other schools could not. Now pat yourself on the back with a well-washed hand. You made it, and that’s something to be proud of. Just don’t forget what you did to get there.”

The Ghost of COVID Present

(You suddenly find yourself following the Deacon, dressed in hospital scrubs, down a hallway in Wake Forest Baptist Hospital. You can hear the Deacon speaking to you, yet his fuzzy mascot mouth doesn’t move.)
“Yeah, I’m the Deacon. But I’m also the ghost of COVID present. Sure, numbers are up, people are tired of living with this virus and now more than ever people need to fight the temptation to leave their bubble during the holidays. But we have hope. Here’s our very own Dr. Ohl with something you need to see.”

The Ghost of COVID yet to come

(Now you’re back at your place, half-packed suitcases in front of you. There’s a knock at the door and President Hatch walks in, only he’s dressed like Doc Brown from “Back to the Future.”)
“Surprise, I’m the Ghost of COVID yet to come. Spring is closer than we think, and just because there’s a vaccine doesn’t mean we can let our guard down. How about a nice tall glass of eggnog while I help you with your return-to-campus requirements?

Happy Holidays, Deacs! Stay safe, remember to mask up, wash those hands and avoid the crowds.

And always remember… if these emails are weird, it’s only because we really care.